I am trying to figure out why I am always pissed, when at Hip Hop events cats start thanking Christ for our blessings. Saying that if it wasn’t for him, we wouldn’t be there. That doesn’t really happen in Europe or Asia—except from when one of the US judges (great guy actually – I love him) stands up at an event in Korea and gives the “Let’s all thank Jesus” speech in front of an audience that consists of a mixture of followers of Korean Shamanism, Mahayana Buddhism, Confucianism, Taoism, Judaism and only 29% Christians. Nice people, mostly great people, talented Hip Hop artists, friends, not some weird Jesus freaks who give that speech, people who just want to share—so why does it piss me off?
Well, maybe it pisses me off, that it is assumed I have to share these beliefs, or that everybody else does. And when the audience starts cheering and I don’t, it makes me feel like an outsider. Aha you think, she doesn’t believe in God! I might, I might not, I might not even be sure anymore at this point of my life what to believe. I sure do believe in Hip Hop though. I have seen the wonders that Hip Hop works. I have talked to many people who told me how Hip Hop saved their lives, one way or another. Hip Hop is a tough MF and takes a lot outta you, but it is also very rewarding. Hip Hop is a saviour. Hip Hop is there for you. Hip Hop is family.
I realised that especially on this trip. Wherever I go, I already have a family waiting for me. Hip Hop is for everybody. Hip Hop doesn’t care if you’re black or white or blue. It doesn’t give a damn if you’re male or female, young or old, skinny or fat; it doesn’t give a flying fart if you’re rich or poor, go to college or work at a car wash. All that Hip Hop cares about is your heart! Are you dedicated? Do you believe in what you are doing? Do you believe in yourself? Are you working hard enough? Cuz that is one thing that Hip Hop definitely teaches you—you can do anything if you really want it, if you believe in yourself and just keep going!
So, why should I feel excluded at a Hip Hop event, being with my family? Hip Hop has many followers, believers, warriors, of all kinds of religions—here in Central America people are pretty much all Christians, so at their events, it’s all cheers when Jesus appears on the dance floor. But what about in a couple of years, when events here will be more international? How will some Buddhist B-Boy from Asia feel? Or a Moslem like Lilou? Who was actually not allowed to eat all day long at the Red Bull BC One in South Africa because it was Ramadan!
I guess these guys have tolerance towards other religions cuz they’ve seen the world, but how does it make you feel to have it thrown into your face that the ones cheering for Jesus are the ones who are gonna be saved and that you poor sucker because you have the wrong beliefs—won’t! Because that is what Christians keep telling me—that I will not be saved if I don’t believe in Jesus—and see—that is something that I cannot believe! That there should be a God who will send all Buddhists, Hindus, Moslems, Jews or whatever the heck you believe in, to Hell for being born in the wrong part of the world and being raised with the wrong believes.
Well, I guess it won’t really hurt Moslems or Buddhists etc. if you tell them that they’ll all go to hell, cuz they know better anyway—they are sure that the Christians are the poor misled suckers that’ll never make it to Paradise. So where the fuck am I headed then? A very good friend of mine always says, “Nika, people need to believe there is something coming after this life, because the big fat nothing is just to scary to live with, but face it—when you die, you rot and that’s it! So whatever you wanna do and whoever you wanna be—make sure you do it in this life, Chances are high, it’s the only shot you get!” So, that’s what I am trying to do with my wild and crazy life—in case some of you were wondering…
So, did we get to the point yet? I don’t think so, cuz now I am asking myself, if these kids believe in what they are doing, if they feel that being a Christian warrior is their purpose in this life, who am I to tell them, “Oh, this is Hip Hop, you gotta check your beliefs at the door before you can get in!” See, now I am the one who makes people feel like outsiders. Do I want that? No! I wanna be a good girl!
Last year, when we made the We B*Girlz compilation and the female MCs from Berlin were working on a We B*Girlz track, I told them, “Try to send a positive message, try not to whine about how hard it is to be a woman, try not to blame the guys, don’t try to be like the guys and do all that gangster hardcore Berlin rap, and please leave religion out” The track we got in the end had lines like “It is waaaaaaaar!” And Lady Scar managed to squeeze in three “Allahs.” I was like, “What the ….!” And told Sinaya that I was not happy about this, but then she told me off and of course she was right. That’s how the scene is in Berlin at the moment! This track captures the different types of Female Berlin MCs to the T and now I am very happy with it!
So—now I feel the point coming up—since I am saying that in Hip Hop there is a place for everybody, I guess there is also a place for the church boys and the Jesus freaks, so next time, I will not be pissed, but cheer with them, cheer for them and wish for them that they will get what they are praying for—and hope that even my wretched soul will make its way into another life or into some paradise or other—cuz sorry girl, I am not really ready yet to believe in the big fat nothing!
Peace!
Nawtee Neek
